The Marion Barry Guide to Being a Washington Sports Fan
There’s not much in sports to celebrate in the city these days. The Nationals suck and might get tossed out on the sidewalk, the Redskins have a new coach whose name sounds like he should be a character on ‘Hellboy,’ and the Wizards can make the playoffs but usually get caught up in not being able to feel their face once they are there.
The Capitals gave it a run, but it was as expected as vomit not being on the streets of Adams Morgan on a Friday night.
But if there’s one man who taught us to rise above it all, to fall down and get back up again, to see the positivity in every situation, it’s Marion Barry. Mayor for Life is what they like to call him. He taught us that life can and will get you down, but you are the best person to pick yourself up.
Let us observe some of his lighter and darker moments, which, when applied as lessons in fanhood, can make us happier and more fulfilled people on game day.
Be willing to take the bullet – Barry was shot in the chest in 1977 in a hostage crisis that lasted two days. Think the Redskins’ play calling is disappointing? Try being shot by Muslim radicals. Now THAT’S disappointing.
Support the team. Sure, they have the most racist nickname you’ll probably hear outside of a Ku Klux Klan meeting, but they are still your team. So what if they line up for a sweep and everyone in the city can read the formation? No matter what, you still root for them not lose four yards on the carry.
This Is It – The mayor got caught up in some rumors about smoking cocaine at strip clubs back in the 80’s. He denied it, and the police didn’t move on him… until much later. When the Nationals lose, don’t be ashamed to wear your Curly W gear. Deny the fact that they suck, and say they are rebuilding.
You know your team’s strengths and weaknesses. There’s no reason to answer to nobody unless…
The Set Up – Now this is a tricky one. Every now and then, you might put some dough on the Wizards thinking that Gilbert is going to hold true to his word and drop 80 points. But its realistic that Gil might be on some other stuff that night and you just might lose your scrilla.
Hey, it happens like that sometimes. Pay the fine, do the time, stay in line.
The comeback - One day, your teams will stand atop the promised land. It may not be an NBA title, or a Stanley Cup, but you will be able to say your team is a contender. One of the good ones.
When all is said and done, when all of the trials are behind you, your fandom will have been tested and proven. You will be known as a faithful believer in what’s right with Washington sports; the singular chance to make it better.
You will be a fan for life.
Just like Marion Barry.
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