What Boston has cranked out over the last five years has been nothing short of remarkable. One city, privy to championship-caliber professional sports all year round.
And I’m sick of it.
Spygate aside, Lakers-Celtics aside, Manny being Manny aside, it’s time for a change in the sports landscape. If God is smiling extra-long on Boston, good for them. It’s an absolutely gorgeous city, with fans, while arrogant and smug as all get out, deserving a shot at national props for long droughts of underachievement.
For many years, Boston professional sports was known for a baseball curse, the death of two potential franchise players in basketball, and football anonymity. You have to give credit to a town that stuck with it after all of these years, if for no other reason than “sticking with it” becoming part of the fan culture.
But seriously, enough is enough. Bill Simmons became the world’s most famous sports writer by setting the Boston sports fan’s burden to prose, and his product hasn’t been the same with his town’s success. Satire just isn’t as appealing when you can’t point your weapon at yourself every now and then.
It’s like the entire city got pushed into a watering hole for it’s 21st birthday, and the rest of us are still doing shots with them. We don’t want to spoil the party with the “I’ve got a 10 o’clock meeting” line, and you really want to see just how far they drink themselves under the table.
But, you know you’ve got to move on. And eventually, they have to stagger into that dawn sunlight, pile into the back of somebody’s whip, and find themselves back at home. Painfully hungover, grasping for the sweet memories of the night before, and heaving at the stale taste of reality.
Nobody’s saying every single sport should fall off. Just give us the New England Patriots. You can have the Boston Celtics for the next two or three years. The Boston Red Sox have won enough titles for you guys to be okay for another 10 years at least. Just let the Patriots fall off, fire Belichick, get those pills out of Rodney Harrison’s locker, something to interrupt their regular contention for NFL stardom.
Tom Brady won’t mind. He’ll still bang models and be America’s favorite pretty boy if you guys go 16-0 or 6-10.
But honestly, you’ve had your time. You deserved it, you made the most of it, and we’re happy for you. But the sun’s coming up, folks. And we’ve got that 10 o’clock meeting in the morning…
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
It’s not the teams that bother me so much as the fans. Living in Baltimore, I know when the Red Sox are in town because of the pink hate and general douche behavior. Worse, I can identify the real New Englanders (pasty, fat, poorly dressed) from the bandwagoners (just poorly dressed).
For whatever reason, the Celtics and Pats fans are less annoying than the Sox fans, even when they’re the same people. It’s like their Sox fandom is still defined by their response to Yankees fans.
That’s supposed to be “pink hats”. “Pink hate” refers to my own feelings.
I agree 100 percent. B-More is a safe haven for uncouth Orioles opponents.
NEW ENGLANDER ALERT :
Hey, I may be pasty and poorly dressed, but I’m not fat.
And please, all fans of (temporarily) successful teams are at least partial-douchebags in the eyes of everyone else. It’s human nature. My God, look at Yankees and Steelers fans. I was stuck living in Cleveland last season listening to people tell me that Derek Anderson was Tom Brady with a better arm, and that Fausto Carmona was “unhittable, baby”. Never mind LeBron.
But fear not. The Pats will be back to the middle/low-end of the pack pretty soon; as long as they have the same good ownership, though, they’ll probably be decent again before long.
I have to agree there. Although here in Baltimore, I doubt very seriously that the country would take any success for our sports teams to heart, as most people couldn’t locate our town on a U.S. map without a picture of Jimmy McNulty somewhere nearby.
Why don’t you just write, “I’m extremely jealous of Boston’s success like everyone else,” and spare us the convoluted details?
Who says we can’t laugh at ourselves?
http://www.redsocksdiaries.com
So wat do u want? For the boston teams to stop trying?? And forge every game??
I wouldn’t want any team anywhere to mail it in, but don’t you guys miss the days of striving for that elusive respect from the rest of the world?
Part of the world’s frustration with Boston isn’t Boston’s fault. The franchises have been so successful, the world has been transfixed on the city for a while now. I’m sure if Baltimore became a sports powerhouse, people would hate my city and call us slack-talking buffoons that wear the loudest colors anywhere in sports.
You touched on a similar point in your last comment JC….
…but yea, it’s not so much Boston sports, but rather a city filled with increasingly exposed douchebaggery as a result of accomplishments in the athletic arena.
I don’t hate Boston sports, I hate the fans of Boston sports….same goes for you Philly.
Bawl-mer…..well, you’ve got a special, sympathetic place in my heart. Attending many O’s games in my youth, I still got some love from DC for the City That Reads.
Way to go Celtics! Keep these poor miserable SOB’s in tears! Let’s all root for the Sox to take it in 4 again this World Series, and the Pats to try the 16 - 0 thing again [only this time get it right - with a Superbowl win!]